he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
