You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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