The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
