i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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