At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
