What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
