i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
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