So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i love accidental penises.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
