i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
