I wannas sexs uuuuu
We named our party play list daddy issues
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
