I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize