if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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