ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
