***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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