why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
