Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
