hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Randomize
