Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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