Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
