I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
