no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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