But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
