So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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