You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
