I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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