therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
