I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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