remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize