I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
How does one acquire holy water?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
