I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
