operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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