awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize