and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
