someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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