Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
