So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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