Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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