I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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