Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
