I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
