You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
