Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
