Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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