with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
