Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
