driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
being pregnant is like rehab
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
