all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
