bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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