It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
