Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
