and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
