Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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