Well douche your snatch and let's go!
handjob tips. give me some.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
