Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Randomize
