Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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