The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
