Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Randomize
