come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
