In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
