Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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