Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
