There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i will never coherently bang her
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
